1. When meeting her ex-lover for the first time say, “Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you. Or, should I say, a little”, then wink and flick his nuts with your hand.
2. They say that when you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with everyone that they’ve had sex with in the past. Whisper this to her ex while you’re standing next to him at the urinal.3. Get drunk before attending the wedding. Build up in your mind the ass kicking you’re going to give him. Think about how, after you kick his ass, your wife is going to be so turned on that she has sex with you right there in front of everybody at the wedding. Get to wedding shit-faced, drunkenly stumble around looking for bathroom to throw up in, run into ice-sculpture swan, scream through tears at ice-sculpture swan, attack ice-sculpture swan, get removed from wedding. Wake up in graveyard near church.
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4. Smile, politely shake hands and make small talk, warm in the Oxycontin haze you’ve been in for a long while now.
