Zombie Special Health Quiz: Are You Depressed?

Published on October 28th, 2010

You no longer watch Regis and Kelly because:

a. you started watching Good Morning America.
b. you find Kelly mean-spirited and cynical.


You’ve attended:

a. more weddings than you can count.
b. more weddings in sweats than you can count.
.
.
You work:

a. to live. You don’t live to work.
b. in the service industry.
.
..
The only thing on your “bucket list” is:

a. living each and every day like it’s a gift from God.
b. watching “The Bucket List” again.
.

.
Your discman broke, so you:

a. decide it’s time to get an iPod.
b. no longer find yourself interested in music.
.
.

You wonder if you really are:

a. as awesome as everybody thinks you are. “Yes,” you think, as you slurp down another oyster. “I am.”
b. under-qualified to scoop ice cream.
.
.

You often bring:

a. a bottle of wine to couple night at Bob and Linda’s .
b. up that time you smiled.
.
.

You’re worried because the weekend is the only time:

a. you have to finish your thank you notes.
b. you can get a full 48 hours’ sleep.
.

You were the life of the party:

.
a. until you got married, settled down and had a couple of adorable rugrats.
b. until the party went to grad school.
.

On your first day of work, the guy training you says, “Welcome to the big leagues!”

a. laughing infectiously and slapping you on the back as he shows you the fully-stocked employee cantina and arcade.
b. without sarcasm as he shows you the copy room that will be your new home.
.
.
If you answered mostly A’s:
You’re not depressed, you’re just kind of lame.

If you answered mostly B’s:
To quote Third Eye Blind, “I wish you would step back from the ledge, my friend.” Their third eye may have been blind, but Third Eye Blind’s other eyes were perfectly functional with corrective lenses, so you need to listen to them! Seek professional help!

If you answered some A’s and some B’s:
You could be bipolar. Seek professional help!

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  6. Posted by Terry Reinhold on January 26th, 2011, 19:04

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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