Original Robert’s Rules Of Order

Published on October 11th, 2010

by Daniel Dominguez

Robert’s Rules of Order is the generally accepted book of rules for public debate. It has been ever since its adoption in the early 20th century. Few alterations have been made to the rules, for they have served their purpose well and stood the test of time as a phenomenal resource for keeping order during what can often be a contentious form of discourse. However, the original version of Robert’s Rules of Order was imperfect, and needed heavy editing. Some of the original rules were eliminated for being superfluous, or even potentially harmful to the very order the rules were intended to create. Here now is the original document, with the rules left out highlighted in bold for your consideration.

1. An affirmative vote, voted affirmative twice, cannot be reconsidered.

2. No fucking.

3. Backflips, no matter how well executed, do not count as a successful retort.

4. The debate must cease when the motion to be amended or reconsidered is undebatable.

5. Children under the age of 6 are only allowed to debate if they are either taller than the adult they are debating, or can grow facial hair the length of themselves plus one half.

6. Constitutions, By-Laws, and Rules of Order before adoption are in every respect main motions and may be amended by majority vote.

7. Prayers are only allowed during the debate if they have a funny ending.

8. Standing Rules may be amended at any time by a majority vote if previous notice has been given, or by a 2/3 vote without notice.

9. A question cannot be reconsidered after the committee has taken up the subject, but by 2/3 vote the committee at any time may be discharged from further consideration of the question.

10. Debaters may only eat any donuts they bring to the debate if they brought donuts enough for everyone.

11. These motions may be moved whenever the immediately pending question is debatable, and they apply only to it, unless otherwise specified.

12. If the debate ends in a draw the debators must either agree to disagree, or be forced to have sex with one another, and then kill each other at the moment they both climax.

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