The Article That High-Brow Political Humorist James Mackleberry Wrote For His First And Last Assignment At Maxim Magazine:
Bikini Babes of Spring Break
By James Mackleberry
There in “Cabo Wabo”, inundated by the searing hormones of young women turned loose by their own fevered determination to feign mutable sexuality, I could only think what any man staring at the wet bodies of strange women gyrating on a table for beads would think: “ How like the current economic crisis this! An exciting origin clouding the reality of the dramatic downfall all this reckless behavior had ought portend!”
A young man next to me spoke up, suggesting, “take off your ****ing top you *****!” to a young woman dancing on the table nearest him. The young woman, herself inebriated, did as he suggested, and as she removed her shirt I turned to the young man and said, “Listening to ill thought out advice doled out by dubious advisors? She should Chair the House Ways and Means Committee!”
But he didn’t get it.
I ordered a Margarita with the alarming name “Five Way **** Fest” because they included Glenfiddich whiskey in the dread concoction, which I have considered a gentleman’s drink ever since I learned Theodore Roosevelt used to demand his cabinet members ingest some before each meeting to give them “resolve”. And you know what they say about Theodore Roosevelt, if every Teddy was a gruff as he, then surely we would not give them to children to play with!
But I digress.
The curvature of the women, that is what this article is about. The curvature and perceived sexual permissiveness of the women here at “Cabo Wabo” on spring break. Well let me tell about their curvatures! If these women were any more curvaceous, Joe Lieberman’s core argument that ideology has trumped common sense – when it comes to the recent Financial Legislation proposed by the Democrats – would surely slide right off of them!
And let me tell you of their permissiveness! If these women were any more permissive I wouldn’t be surprised to find them working in an ACORN office, if you get my drift! Surely you get my drift!
I’m fired aren’t I?
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