A Twitter Review Column
by @
Oscar season: A time to fear James Cameron; A time to remember Meryl Streep is still alive. And this year: A time for the producers of The Dark Knight and Wall-E to shit themselves in anger over The Blind Side‘s Best Picture nom.
But most of all, Oscar season is time for anonymous twitter reviewer who goes by the name of @ to review some of Hollywood’s best and worst Tweets.
This Week:
@ErrolMorris “SENSELESS TRAGEDY: My beloved editor Karen Schmeer was killed last night by a car used in the robbery of a drugstore. She was 39 years old.”
@TheEllenShow’s “Wanna see some tasty Super Bowl recipes? http://su.pr/1MkipV“
—–@—–
Released: 3:39 PM Feb 2nd
I give it: R out of RTRTRTRTRT
@’s Review:
Let’s have an intervention. You and me. Right now. You say you liked Iron Man, right? We’re here to tell you: THAT MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE. No, seriously, stop denying it. Robert Downey, Jr. was flying around in a completely unrealistic space suit fighting Osama Bin Laden. Have you forgotten? Please. Get your shit together.
With that said, let’s remember that movie was made by @Jon_Favreau, a guy who has somehow used his pesudo-tough-guy-arrogance (and probably oft-mentioned involvement in Swingers) to continue convincing producers to let him act in films such as The Replacements, Something’s Gotta Give, and Four Christmases – to name some of his better work.
In the meantime, the same universe that killed 200,000 Haitians in one week granted this guy the opportunity to direct not one, but TWO Iron Man movies. AND HE NEVER STOPS REMINDING YOU.
The link from this Tweet (note the 2008-ish tinyurl.com URL) takes you to an image of an Apple lap top computer with a big Iron Man sticker on the hood. Were it not for the iota of creativity found in the placement of the glowing Apple, this Tweet would be one of the first to receive a “0″ rating.
—–@—–
@ErrolMorris “SENSELESS TRAGEDY: My beloved editor Karen Schmeer was killed last night by a car used in the robbery of a drugstore. She was 39 years old.”
Released: 2:56 PM Jan 30th
I give it: RTRTRTRTRT out of RTRTRTRTRT
There is @Jon_Favreau, and there are real directors. Oscar-winning documentary director Errol Morris has played a major role in keeping the documentary genre alive and kicking amidst a Hollywood that puts out rat semen like Very Bad Things, Deep Impact, Zathura, and other @Jon_Favreau films.
None of us knew Karen personally, but we have seen your films Errol. So rest assured, she will be missed.
Plus, we hope you’ll find solace in the fact that there is no cooler way to go than in a real-life chase scene straight out of a Guy Ritchie film (one that’s not Sherlock Holmes… or Swept Away).
—–@—–
@TheEllenShow’s “Wanna see some tasty Super Bowl recipes? http://su.pr/1MkipV“
Released: 1:48 PM Feb 5th
I give it: 0 out of RTRTRTRTRT
@’s Review:
A simple answer to a simple question: no.
—–@—–
Released: About 4 hours ago
I give it: RTRTRTR & 1/2 T out of RTRTRTRTRT
@’s Review:
Full Disclosure: This writer has a soft spot for SNL. So any behind-the-scenes Tweets from SNL, much less from a host of SNL, much less on the night of a live broadcast, are going to receive a minimum RTRTRTRT out of RTRTRTRTRT.
But after viewing this poorly-shot, terribly-framed, unenthusiastic video I had to scrape 1/2 a rating off the SNL minimum.
There is no excuse for teasing an audience with a carrot like “live at SNL back stage”, and then presenting us with something that looks like it was shot by @Jon_Favreau.
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