by Penn Collins
“Two waffles, please”
“May I get some more coffee, miss?”
“We’re almost to Grandma’s, kids. Now look at your menu and decide what you want to eat”
“Can I get my hash browns with cheese?”
“I don’t see the parallels between our dining here and the Miller’s Tale”
“Look, they’re beating up a college boy!”
“Please someone, call me an ambulance!”
“The abortion didn’t take, so I’m-a kill her”
“Why did you maliciously burn out my eyeballs with hot grease?”
“If I’m no Capulet, then you’re no Montague” (Different discussion than the Chaucer guy)
“You can sit at the counter if you don’t want to wait for a table”
“Janeane Garofalo looks like she’s had a bit of work done”
“I hate blind dates, but this went really well”
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