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Selected Notes From a Balding 22 Year-Old

Published on January 27th, 2010

by Lucky Albright

I was just looking over some of my notes over the past few years and noticed a startlingly consistent theme. Check it out.

1999
Dear Journal,

According to general consensus of my 7th grade class, curly hair = homosexuality. Will cut my hair to reassure classmates of my sexual attraction toward women, and not men.
UPDATE: Hair cut; less gay, but apparently still somewhat gay.
UPDATE: Fuck you, New Mexico

2003
Blog entry for
www.livinlavidalucky.com

Entry: 29 – SO EXCITED
I’m growing my hair out! I’m going to be a white Antonio Banderas!

Entry: 42 – Celebrity Time
Hair grown out. Look like Weird Al Yankovic.



2006
Myspace User : 77xThELuCkDaWgx77
Mood: chillaxin’
Cut my hair, finally had first conversation with college girl. Didn’t go well.

UPDATE:
Finally had first sex with college girl. Didn’t go well.


2007
Facebook User: Lucky Albright
Status: Hair coming out in shower. And everytime I sneeze. Mom says it’s normal for 19 year old boys to lose copious amounts of hair.

UPDATE: Beginning to think this is not normal. Beginning search for any nuclear waste hidden in room as funny college prank.

UPDATE: No, none.


2009
Twitter Feed, LDAWG
Shaved head today. Look like Nazi. Better than balding gay dude I s’pose.


2010
Dear Journal,
Artfully cut hair by Asian woman has allowed a modern look without exposing bald spot. Will enjoy being semi-good looking while it lasts. When hair runs out, I have a plan: I will emulate Jason Statham. I better hit the gym and start learning martial arts. Also get rich.

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